smoaky396
11-29-2004, 02:17 PM
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there
is more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to
more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by a female acquaintance during
my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore,
extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine
being which explains why, last night, my female acquaintance kept
shouting:
"Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A." :lol: :lol: :lol: [/code]
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there
is more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to
more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by a female acquaintance during
my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore,
extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine
being which explains why, last night, my female acquaintance kept
shouting:
"Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A." :lol: :lol: :lol: [/code]