ChkUR6
10-04-2004, 05:43 PM
Thought this was funny:
Do you drive in the left lane and pass in the right lane? This is an automatic three points, congrats, you ARE a dumbass.
Do you see people coming up to pass you and speed up, because they belong behind you? 2 points for yes.
Do you drop unto the exit lane, then speed up on the service road and reenter the main thoroughfare in order to pass slower moving cars? 1 point for yes.
On two lane country roads, do you brake every time a vehicle approaches? 1 point for yes. Why in the hell do you do this?!?
When approaching a traffic jam, do you drop unto the shoulder, even though you are unaware of why there is a traffic jam? 1 point for yes.
When approaching an accident sight, do you slow down DRASTICLY to see if there is any gore to witness? 1 point for yes.
Do you drive for five or more miles in the left lane because you are turning left eventually? 2 points for yes.
Do you hold on to the left lane, right up to the second you have to go across three lanes of traffic to exit to the right? This is an automatic three points, congrats, you ARE a dumbass.
Do you approach an intersection in the right lane KNOWING you are turning left? 1 point for yes.
On interstate highways, do you drive at one speed until a car passes you, then speed up after it does, then slow down to let it pass you and repeat this little game for f***ing miles? This is an automatic four points, congrats, you ARE a MAJOR dumbass.
When traveling down a highway, do you automaticlly slow down when you see a cop, even if you are at or under the speed limit. 2 points for yes.
Do you drive in the left lane to slow down other drivers that are just driving too fast. Well this doesn't work, take four points and consider yourself a MAJOR DUMBASS.
Picture this, a bridge spans a river, previously the bridge handled traffic going both direstions, now it only handles northbound traffic. Do you think you should slow down and move to the middle, because it is too narrow to pass on? This is an automatic three points, congrats, you ARE a dumbass.
When entering a situation where there are two turn lanes, do you take the one with no cars in it, even if it is the leftmost turn lane and you are making a right turn as soon as you are through the intersection? 2 points for yes.
Do you have any idea what the solid line in the center of the road means (as opposed to a "stripe")? If no, go get yourself an instruction manual from your state's DMV, take 6 points (see below).
Do you drive with your left foot resting on the brake petal, oblivious of the fact that your freakin' brake lights are on and the people behind you have no idea when you are braking? Yes gets ya two points.
Do you turn your lights on when its raining? "No" gets you three points (and if cops weren't afraid of rain, you SHOULD get a ticket)...
Do you speed up, then match a cars speed and stay in the drivers "blind spot"? Yes gets you three points...
Insurance? I don't need no stinkin' insurance... 4 points for thinking this way...(we are talking liability here, if you have a twenty year old POS, then to have collision would be dumb indeed).
Do you pull in front of approaching cars, in the rain? Damn, you are a dumbass, this is good for three points.
When you see a sign, stating that the lane you're in is closed for roadwork ahead and speed up until the very last second so you can force your way to the front of the traffic? Take three points and rest assured, you are a dumbass (and don't expect me to let you in front of me).
Can you see out of all the window ares in your car, or is that plywood or Hefty brand window in the way? "No" is worth more points than I care to award.
When someone passes you, then moves to the right (you WERE driving in the right lane, weren't you?), do you move over into the other lane so they are no longer in front of you? What the hell are you doing this for? Take yourself 4 points and see below.
Scoring:
1 to 2 points: Annoying.
3 points: DUMBASS
4 or more: MAJOR Dumbass
6 or more: Crap, why are you even allowed on the road? If there were a dumbass school, you would be at the top of your class. If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose...
Do you drive in the left lane and pass in the right lane? This is an automatic three points, congrats, you ARE a dumbass.
Do you see people coming up to pass you and speed up, because they belong behind you? 2 points for yes.
Do you drop unto the exit lane, then speed up on the service road and reenter the main thoroughfare in order to pass slower moving cars? 1 point for yes.
On two lane country roads, do you brake every time a vehicle approaches? 1 point for yes. Why in the hell do you do this?!?
When approaching a traffic jam, do you drop unto the shoulder, even though you are unaware of why there is a traffic jam? 1 point for yes.
When approaching an accident sight, do you slow down DRASTICLY to see if there is any gore to witness? 1 point for yes.
Do you drive for five or more miles in the left lane because you are turning left eventually? 2 points for yes.
Do you hold on to the left lane, right up to the second you have to go across three lanes of traffic to exit to the right? This is an automatic three points, congrats, you ARE a dumbass.
Do you approach an intersection in the right lane KNOWING you are turning left? 1 point for yes.
On interstate highways, do you drive at one speed until a car passes you, then speed up after it does, then slow down to let it pass you and repeat this little game for f***ing miles? This is an automatic four points, congrats, you ARE a MAJOR dumbass.
When traveling down a highway, do you automaticlly slow down when you see a cop, even if you are at or under the speed limit. 2 points for yes.
Do you drive in the left lane to slow down other drivers that are just driving too fast. Well this doesn't work, take four points and consider yourself a MAJOR DUMBASS.
Picture this, a bridge spans a river, previously the bridge handled traffic going both direstions, now it only handles northbound traffic. Do you think you should slow down and move to the middle, because it is too narrow to pass on? This is an automatic three points, congrats, you ARE a dumbass.
When entering a situation where there are two turn lanes, do you take the one with no cars in it, even if it is the leftmost turn lane and you are making a right turn as soon as you are through the intersection? 2 points for yes.
Do you have any idea what the solid line in the center of the road means (as opposed to a "stripe")? If no, go get yourself an instruction manual from your state's DMV, take 6 points (see below).
Do you drive with your left foot resting on the brake petal, oblivious of the fact that your freakin' brake lights are on and the people behind you have no idea when you are braking? Yes gets ya two points.
Do you turn your lights on when its raining? "No" gets you three points (and if cops weren't afraid of rain, you SHOULD get a ticket)...
Do you speed up, then match a cars speed and stay in the drivers "blind spot"? Yes gets you three points...
Insurance? I don't need no stinkin' insurance... 4 points for thinking this way...(we are talking liability here, if you have a twenty year old POS, then to have collision would be dumb indeed).
Do you pull in front of approaching cars, in the rain? Damn, you are a dumbass, this is good for three points.
When you see a sign, stating that the lane you're in is closed for roadwork ahead and speed up until the very last second so you can force your way to the front of the traffic? Take three points and rest assured, you are a dumbass (and don't expect me to let you in front of me).
Can you see out of all the window ares in your car, or is that plywood or Hefty brand window in the way? "No" is worth more points than I care to award.
When someone passes you, then moves to the right (you WERE driving in the right lane, weren't you?), do you move over into the other lane so they are no longer in front of you? What the hell are you doing this for? Take yourself 4 points and see below.
Scoring:
1 to 2 points: Annoying.
3 points: DUMBASS
4 or more: MAJOR Dumbass
6 or more: Crap, why are you even allowed on the road? If there were a dumbass school, you would be at the top of your class. If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose...